Why Do People Get Married?

ImageOff-late, everyone around me seems to be doing just one thing- getting married. With all the friends, and dear ones getting married, it puts a certain sort of pressure on the mind about this whole “getting married” stuff. To be frank, I have never really understood WHY do people get married? What is so charming about getting married and spending your life with that one person whom you think you love, and care for.

I feel, and I seriously think nobody needs to get married, not anymore and nobody needs to stay married either. Yet, at some point in our lives, most of us will commit ourselves to one woman (or man) for better or for worse, with that faint doubt in the back of our minds. Yet, we do it anyway, and hence I have always wanted to ask this question – why do we get married?

– Because you love her.
– Because you like her.
– Because she wants to.
– Because “kids” sound nice.
– Because she doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.
– Because you don’t want her to go anywhere.
– Because of social pressure.
– Because almost all of your friends are married.
– Because sex is good.
– Because fights are good, but sex after those fights are even better.
– And, probably because, wait, how old are you, again?

The reasons can be myraid but this question has been haunting me for the past many weeks now, more so with my family putting pressure on me to get married. I have met (and know) people who aren’t married and are leading perfectly healthy (and happy) lives. I have also known people who are married and are living their dreams. I believe, it should be left to the concerned person, and should never be forced upon them. I work as a full-time photographer creating beautiful candid pictures of couples who are in love and getting married to each other, but when it comes to my own wedding, I have this strange picture on my mind. It’s like that never ending dark tunnel, without any proverbial light at the end of it all.

I must confess that I have been through a few tough relationships which failed drastically because of factors best left unsaid. Post all the heart-break and trauma, I have some-how come to realize, and I might be wrong in believing so, that there is no “perfect girl” as such, just like there is no “perfect guy” to fall in love or to get married with. It is like I have been searching for that “perfect girl” ever since; she’s smart, pretty and absolutely adorable. She reads during her free time and she still watches shitty television with me on the couch, just for the heck of it. She loves to shop and to present herself well, but feels most comfortable with her feet up on the coffee table, listening to my boring talks all day long. We should be romantic anywhere and any-time, and be crazy about “love” any god-damn time of the day (or night, ofcourse). This girl can laugh at stupid, girly nonsense but can still take a joke when we make fun of each other. She’s calm but passionate, she’s cool but super-HOT a the same time, she loves me to bits, but is always the first one to point out my mistakes.

I want guys to end up with a girl like this because I feel like then, they’ll never be bored. They’ll get that sexiness and femininity that they crave, along with the comfort of being with a best friend, because relationships almost never work if you’re not friends with your significant other. All said and done, the fact of the matter remains, just why do people get married? If you’ve a solid reply to that, please leave your comments here. After all, my papa has been after my life to get married, but I, on the other hand am just not convinced that I must “settle” down in life (as if getting married is the only means of “settling down”).

Cheers.

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Comments

  • Payal Mehta  On March 4, 2014 at 11:10 AM

    marigage myt be gud 2….:-) relx…u wll be hppy… :_)

    Liked by 1 person

  • Jitu  On March 4, 2014 at 11:19 AM

    Too many expectations… is why most relationships fail. Not just marriages… but others too.

    If one looks for the perfect guy or a perfect girl… they are setting themselves for heart-break. People in find imperfect people, perfect. That is an entirely different story. But looking for a perfect partner who meets x, y, z criteria… is a death knell of love.

    You don’t need marriage cause you are setting yourself for failure no matter what.

    Photographically speaking… We know a good camera+ a good lens + some good light + good composition + nice expressions + sweet moments + great timing… would make for a good shot. But even a pro photographer knows… he’ll get some of those condition in a single shot… not all of them. Expecting each shot to have all the criteria satisfied… and not taking a shot if it is short on any count… will be a death knell on any photographic business.

    Marriage and Love are just like that. They are business of life. You get some, you loose some.. you make the best of the deal you get.

    My two cents. Sorry it was a bit long.

    Liked by 1 person

    • vulpineshooter  On March 4, 2014 at 11:21 AM

      It is long, but makes sense, Jitu. Especially when you put it as an example where you used photography as a subject to put it across. 🙂 Thanks a lot.

      Like

  • soniek  On March 4, 2014 at 11:55 AM

    My 2 cents on why do people get married:

    1. Because after years and years dating and short-term relationships, one just gets exhausted and wants to have that one person to spend time with.
    2. Because you really love this person and want to spend a lot of time with that person. Marrying such a person would only bind you legally to him/her and unless you want to keep your exit options open, why should you mind being legally bound?
    3. Because marriage is a way of weeding out the frivolous people. Just like fair-weather friends, there are fair-weather lovers who stay in good times or till beauty lasts and then ditch for fairer pastures. Marriage and its repercussions ensures a person that he/she finds a partner who’s serious enough to invest her/his whole life.
    4. Because it gives you legal protection and benefits
    5. Because at times it’s practical. After living with flatmates for so long, I find marriage as a better utilization of resources and expenses.
    6. Because some people like me are just monogamous. We aren’t tough-hearted enough to keep getting intimate with lots of partners. We would just love to have that one person in our lives, even if they lose their strength, health, beauty or money. We’d love to be with one partner, kids or no kids, but we’d love to have a special, exclusive relationship with our partner, and marriage is it.

    Like

  • soniek  On March 4, 2014 at 11:57 AM

    My 2 cents on why do people get married:

    1. Because after years and years dating and short-term relationships, one just gets exhausted and wants to have that one person to spend time with.

    2. Because you really love this person and want to spend a lot of time with that person. Marrying such a person would only bind you legally to him/her and unless you want to keep your exit options open, why should you mind being legally bound?

    3. Because marriage is a way of weeding out the frivolous people. Just like fair-weather friends, there are fair-weather lovers who stay in good times or till beauty lasts and then ditch for fairer pastures. Marriage and its repercussions ensures a person that he/she finds a partner who’s serious enough to invest her/his whole life.

    4. Because it gives you legal protection and benefits

    5. Because at times it’s practical. After living with flatmates for so long, I find marriage as a better utilization of resources and expenses.

    6. Because some people like me are just monogamous. We aren’t tough-hearted enough to keep getting intimate with lots of partners. We would just love to have that one person in our lives, even if they lose their strength, health, beauty or money. We’d love to be with one partner, kids or no kids, but we’d love to have a special, exclusive relationship with our partner, and marriage is it.

    7. Because it gets boring, coming back from work to an empty home.

    Liked by 1 person

  • inconsequential  On March 4, 2014 at 11:58 AM

    I am getting married because our relationship works for us and we work to have it. We have good compatibility and a constant willingness to chose to stay when we have the choice to leave. It is important to remember your partner’s value, and your own.

    Liked by 1 person

  • Niks  On March 4, 2014 at 12:11 PM

    Stop looking for a perfect girl. You’ll never find one if you keep searching and experimenting. It’ll just happen. One day you’ll meet someone and you’ll know it’s her… She may not be perfect, but you’ll fall for her imperfections. That’s what love is all about. More than getting hitched, it’s important to experience love, experience dependency, experience addiction. ‘Marriage’ is just a celebration of love. (who would know that better than you!)
    and after posting this on your wall – stating that you are single, you are sure to get a lot of attention from your desired TG.

    Liked by 1 person

  • Shubeg Singh Nandwal  On March 4, 2014 at 1:52 PM

    Actually it totally depends on individual to individual , let’s say girls family , it gives sense of security to them that yes their daughter is married and their is man taking care of her . For boys parents it gives then level of statisfaction , that yes my son has made his career , now he is married he will be growing our family tree. For those those 2 individuals it matters in way of security for some people , in any of celebrating their love by the way of marriage , in getting attached to each others family , in getting attached to each other lives , in sharing responsibilities. Their are lot many things my friends. All the best . 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  • shashank joshi  On March 4, 2014 at 6:43 PM

    What after, when you get old or sick? When there would be no one to serve you! When you have your greatest depression in life , who will be your moral support after your parents? I guess there are loads of pros and cons related to this topic . Good wishes always

    Yours
    Shashank

    Like

  • Abhijit Singh  On March 4, 2014 at 8:20 PM

    IF we get stuck in the marriage knot with a wrong women she will ruin the carrer and more important mental peace of ours and family and the least we will be spending more time reading about 498A IPC section. They can blow our life’s to ruins using 498A …That’s the worst part of the marriage if she comes with tons of dreams and loads of expectations our so called blind Law 498A in short “Wife Law” can create havoc for other women’s in our family…

    Like

  • deepti  On March 8, 2014 at 12:13 AM

    you may find your answer here…
    https://www.facebook.com/notes/dipti-salian/old-fashioned-love/10151587665493817

    Like

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