I always thought “I Love You” meant “never leave me alone”, but, as always in life, I was proven wrong & how.
I’m learning with each day. But, learning to be okay without her is just so weird. I’ll be fine for days but one fine morning I’ll just wake up suddenly from sleep and my heart feels heavy for no reason at all. She was the reason I felt so happy; everything that happened in my life on a day-to-day basis, she was the ONLY person I wanted to share it all with and I feel that is the basic indicator of “being in love”. But now, she’s suddenly not there, and all of it which is inside me just stays there. There’s nobody to share it with. She’s not there. She’ll never be.
Now, I feel completely lost without her all over again. It’s just hard, you know? Thinking that you’re actually making all this progress only for it to be ruined when you see someone else do quite the same things she used to, and it suddenly hits you like a freight train.
You start thinking that you’ll never be able to live without hearing her laugh ever again. And these small things, these memories hurt.
I think finally I know why love is madness. It is way too easy to lose your mind once you’ve lost your heart. And after all this pain & heart-break, as I try to pick myself up with each passing, sadly, she’ll remain a story I won’t be able to tell anyone…
