The Last Farewell

It frustrates me that this is the only way I can convey my thoughts to you- not knowing if you will ever see this, but I had to give it one last shot. Chances are, if you are reading this, you understand the fact that I love writing my feelings down. 

I have the slightest bit of lingering hope that something will lead you to this site, your eyes to these words, and your mind back to what we used to be. I just want you to think back for a second to the way you felt that night I first kissed you. Remember how we lay together without really talking much? I remember thinking life could not possibly become any better for me than it was in that very moment.  I remember clearly how beautiful you looked and how those eyes had the most beautiful sparkle. I remember the way your hand felt in mine and how it lightly trembled because you were nervous.  It didn’t last but for a few minutes, but I want you to know I would go through the pain of you breaking my heart all over again just feel what I felt in those few minutes.

Although it seemed, at times, as if we were rock solid and nothing could divide us, the truth is, we were fragile. Every “I love you”, “I’m so happy with you”, “I’m in love with you” seemed to be another brick to the wall between us and the world. Little did I know, this solid wall would be broken. It’s okay, though.   We had our time, our moment in time where we shined, and I would not take anything in the world for it. For whatever reason, you saw it best for me not to be a part of your future, or perhaps it is me who feels unloved and so bloody insecure. I couldn’t have given you the world, my love, but, I swear I would have made you feel like the only person in it.  Our time came to an end long before my love did, but I want you to know that I am eternally grateful to you for giving me the best time of my life.

So, I guess this is my last goodbye. I will never forget the way you made my heart feel for the short time we loved each other. I lived – while you loved me. I have to do what’s best for me now. I have to focus on making the best out of what life has given me. 

I have to let you go.  Wow! That was the hardest line to type! Goodbye, beautiful.  Don’t forget about me.  If God decided to take me from this world, please know in your heart that you were loved with everything in my being.  I wish you all the happiness life can offer. We could not say goodbye to each other, but I am very bad at farewells. So, take this as my final goodbye…

I love you. Always.

– Me


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