Be Real. Be You.

Perfection

Last night, late night, I got a phone-call from somebody whom I haven’t heard in years. As she sobbed on the other end of the phone, I couldn’t help but really wonder what had happened to her, why was she just crying and not telling me anything. What had happened so grave that all she could think of was calling me,after almost 16 years of no contact. As she started talking after crying her heart out (I did not try to stop her or console her in between), I could see clearly what had happened. Her parents were getting her married off to someone whom they thought was “perfect” for her, and not to somebody whom she really cared & loved. And since she had been connected to me through Facebook (and other means), and I’ve known her for more than half of my life, and she loved me to bits when we were together back in school, she thought it apt to just call me and speak her heart out, and don’t get judged in the process.

After she hung up the phone-call after speaking to me for a good 35 odd minutes I think, I kept wondering till 5 in the morning. Am I the only one who feels that perfection is fast becoming a disease? It is not only a disease, it is absolute mayhem, I tell you. It’s a grave sickness that I’ve struggled with, it’s a disease which has struck us all from time to time. And I am sure, there are more than a fair share of you who have been hit by “perfection”. I don’t know how exactly to define perfection, but I just know this for sure, there is nothing called “perfect” that exists in this world.

Perhaps, “perfection” is a wife who feels stuck in a marriage to a angry, over-protective, abusive husband but she cannot tell this truth to anybody but herself. “You know”, she says, “my husband called me a whore & a bitch last week but he is a nice guy otherwise.”

Perfection can also be a friend you have who has some sort of an addiction which he likes to call as ‘perfection’ and ‘a mode to relax’. This friend of yours generally likes to believe that nobody else could understand his point of view about how this is not an addiction but a ‘medicine’, a perfect way to relax the mind & soul.

“Perfection” is a mom hating herself because she only sees that every other mom around her is the perfect mother, the perfect wife, and the perfect neighbor. I’m speaking this from my personal experience, from what I have seen happening with my own mom.What my mother never knew was that these “other moms” might just be alone at home crying because of this immense pressure to remain perfect in the society.

This friend of mine who called me up last night wanted to be ‘perfect’. It was as if she was overwhelmed; so overwhelmed infact that she wanted to kill herself out of the pressure. She said, she thinks about killing herself daily, but she never could muster up the courage to do it as she was worried what people will think if she did commit suicide. She even spoke to me about how could she make her suicide look like an accident. She said, “If I kill myself, I would never like anybody to know that I ever had problems. You are the only one whom I am confiding it in.” She never really seemed to tell me the exact reasons as to why she doesn’t want to live, or why she doesn’t want to heal because she felt perhaps, healing would mean anything but perfect.

I also feel, at times, perfection is somebody who is looked upto as an idol or an “ideal man”, a “role model” but inside he is screaming his heart out to be seen at the faults that he actually has. Perfection is like a woman having an affair because she is too afraid to confront all the imperfections in her marriage, or leave, as she is worried about how the society would look at her as “imperfect” or a “failure”.

You know what? You must get up, and embrace your weaknesses. Accept the fact that we aren’t perfect; your body isn’t perfect, you are not the only one who feels worthless some-times. You aren’t the only one who is by Info” href=”#56152853″> not making enough money to support your own-self or your family. Or, you are not the only one who feels trapped in a relationship or marriage. I’ve always loved listening to everybody. For some reason, people like to talk to me, maybe because I like listening to them without questioning them. Or maybe because I’ve almost always been honest with them about who I actually am, and eventually they have begun to be their actual selves with me.

This happens with each one of us, and we must learn to embrace it. Fully. At that very moment, when she was crying her heart out, all I wanted to do was put my arms around her and make her comfortable. Tell her that nothing in life is worth dying for. NOTHING. Maybe she’ll read this and understand it all. Maybe she would make choices that would make her happy, eventually. And I will be happy for her. Genuniely happy.

The ‘cure’ for ‘perfection’, if there can be any, is very simple, really. You just need to be yourself. Be Real. Everything else will eventually fall into place…


Shop Now

Advertisements
Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: