There are days when life seems extremely meaningful and things somehow seem to fall into place and you are generally a happy soul. And then there are those other days…

This feeling of being exhausted, just really tired of being alone is a very strange feeling, really. Most of the days, I feel complete within myself but when loneliness strikes, it strikes hard.

I’ll be open and frank tonight in this post. You see, the thing is, my family hurts me a lot with their indifference and at times, meanness. It’s weird because when i was younger i did have the urge to end my life but now that i am relatively mature (or so I would like to believe), I realize that makes no sense.

There are moments when I just feel sorry for myself because my life it not what I can term “happy” and is super difficult as it is and when I don’t get the support or the affection that I crave for, it breaks me, breaks me real bad. Tonight, I feel I don’t have hope. No, really, I do feel that way. I don’t really want hope that much, maybe. Maybe all I just want is a little bit of love.

I am extremely disturbed tonight and that’s not what I want. All I want is some comfort, happiness and to feel loved; I want some normalcy. But, tonight I feel shunned by my own species, by the people whom I’ve cared and loved more than anything or anyone.

I also realized tonight that I’m a loner after all, which I think is really unhealthy but it’s not by choice.

I don’t even know what to do anymore…

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