Tag Archives: happy

I failed. Again!

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Tonight, I had slept early. Maybe I was tired or just wanted to rest, I am not sure. But, I fell asleep with the phone in my hand as is generally the case. If I am home, the phone is my friend and gives me constant company when I am not working. And then, an email notification suddenly woke me about 15 minutes back.

I failed tonight. Again. For the Nth time in my life, and each time I fail I lose a little bit of me. You see, a big project that I was working on and was absolutely sure I shall get to do, slipped through my hand tonight. Those 5 lines of email jolted me out of my peaceful sleep like an earthquake would! It’s not that such things haven’t happened in the past. Being in the creative industry, I have faced such failures time & again, but each time it happens, it feels like the first time. The result, essentially, is always the same – every time you fall short of achieving your goal, I fall back and go into deep self-critical role. And THEN, it becomes absolutely impossible and difficult to let go of all that negativity – the negative energy that I feel right at this moment about it all as I pen these words down (or rather, type this down).

As demotivated as I am right now, I think I need to boost my morale by building self-acceptance and through this blog post, I want to help everyone who has ever been through failure in their respective lives. I think, when we hold a negative perception of ourselves, Β it is not surprising to feel lost, defeated and like a huge failure in life. Each obstacle, mistake or failure can seem like proof of what we already know, that we won’t succeed and that it is not okay. What we need to do when we feel demotivated or depressed is we need to learn to give priority to ourselves and value ourselves We need to focus on valuing who we are and NOT what you do.

During all these years working as a creative professional, I’ve also come to realize that when we look to our accomplishments for validations of whether we are “worthy” or not, our sense of feeling good about ourselves depends completely on those achievements of life, which, frankly speaking, is a little too harsh.

Yes, I feel terribly upset tonight, yes, I feel dejected & like I’ve failed big time but I also know that with self-acceptance and identifying the issues, I will be fine. I would, at this point in time, love to brag about having truly supportive & compassionate friends but truth be told – they are more like ‘acquaintances’ than friends; I have absolutely NO true friends whom I can fully trust or be open with about my issues. It’s not that I don’t have “friends”. But, those who really care are only a few (less than the number of fingers I have on one hand!). πŸ™‚

At the end of the day, after some thought, self-pity and what not, I have come to realize that persistence is the key to anything in life, and each time I fail, I somehow motivate myself by different means after I am done feeling dejected. This time too, I need to do the same. I need to be persistent. With persistence, no matter what my goals are, I shall increase my chances of achieving them in life…

Calling It Quits – Emotional Hurt

Why do you think, we don’t quite like most people. I think most of us don’t really value or like most people and that in itself is pretty amazing if you come to seriously think about it.

All this like and dislike is something which I do not quite understand clearly, if you ask me. You see, when we talk about liking or disliking someone, we do not really say that the particular person is likeable or not. Rather, we say, “I like that person”, or “I dislike that person.” So, essentially, it reflects more about us rather than the person we are talking about, I feel. Ofcourse, there might be reasons we have for liking or disliking someone or anything for that matter, but the fact remains that it tells more about us than them.

Most of the times, I have seen people confusing good-bad with likeable-not likeable when in reality, these are two different concepts. Yes, there are people in this world who like bad, maybe because bad or simply being bad gives them some sort of sadistic pleasure.

I am talking about all this tonight because I feel extremely emotional tonight and I am just trying to make some sense out of all that I feel within me. It is absolutely incredible that even the smallest of things can make us feel something so deep, emotionally. What is more incredible is the depth of emotions and how only other humans seem to be reciprocative of those emotions.

So, if some-day, your lover says something which hurts you or makes you feel bad or insulted, stop and think for a moment rather than reacting in the spur of the moment. Instead of simply hating your lover or partnee for showing your flaws or saying something that he/ she shouldn’t have, talk to him and ask him what the inert issue is. Look at it this way; a relatiomship is a partnership & partnership is only worth it when both the parties involved are working towards improvement and eventually further successes instead of name calling, cursing or abusing each other.

Lastly, I cannot say it enough; before you call it quits simply because you feel hurt or insulted,  think strongly about the person whom you’re throwing out or walking out on. Isn’t he/ she the best thing that could ever happen to you? Perhaps, yes and that is why you fell in love in the first place.

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