Tag Archives: life

Frames from Sikkim || 2017

Sikkim has always been on my travel diary but somehow it eluded me for years.

Finally, during the month of June 2017, I finally could visit this amazing state. And what I saw literally blew me away. Sikkim is green, clean and all organic (the first & only state in this country!). It is so easy to fall in love with the place that one can’t help but marvel at the amazing natural beauty and the lush sub-tropical woodlands. Words will never be able to do justice to the place.

So, I present a few frames from Sikkim. I hope this gives you the motivation to pack your bags and leave. Sikkim is love. Sikkim is pure magic.

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I failed. Again!

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Tonight, I had slept early. Maybe I was tired or just wanted to rest, I am not sure. But, I fell asleep with the phone in my hand as is generally the case. If I am home, the phone is my friend and gives me constant company when I am not working. And then, an email notification suddenly woke me about 15 minutes back.

I failed tonight. Again. For the Nth time in my life, and each time I fail I lose a little bit of me. You see, a big project that I was working on and was absolutely sure I shall get to do, slipped through my hand tonight. Those 5 lines of email jolted me out of my peaceful sleep like an earthquake would! It’s not that such things haven’t happened in the past. Being in the creative industry, I have faced such failures time & again, but each time it happens, it feels like the first time. The result, essentially, is always the same – every time you fall short of achieving your goal, I fall back and go into deep self-critical role. And THEN, it becomes absolutely impossible and difficult to let go of all that negativity – the negative energy that I feel right at this moment about it all as I pen these words down (or rather, type this down).

As demotivated as I am right now, I think I need to boost my morale by building self-acceptance and through this blog post, I want to help everyone who has ever been through failure in their respective lives. I think, when we hold a negative perception of ourselves,  it is not surprising to feel lost, defeated and like a huge failure in life. Each obstacle, mistake or failure can seem like proof of what we already know, that we won’t succeed and that it is not okay. What we need to do when we feel demotivated or depressed is we need to learn to give priority to ourselves and value ourselves We need to focus on valuing who we are and NOT what you do.

During all these years working as a creative professional, I’ve also come to realize that when we look to our accomplishments for validations of whether we are “worthy” or not, our sense of feeling good about ourselves depends completely on those achievements of life, which, frankly speaking, is a little too harsh.

Yes, I feel terribly upset tonight, yes, I feel dejected & like I’ve failed big time but I also know that with self-acceptance and identifying the issues, I will be fine. I would, at this point in time, love to brag about having truly supportive & compassionate friends but truth be told – they are more like ‘acquaintances’ than friends; I have absolutely NO true friends whom I can fully trust or be open with about my issues. It’s not that I don’t have “friends”. But, those who really care are only a few (less than the number of fingers I have on one hand!). 🙂

At the end of the day, after some thought, self-pity and what not, I have come to realize that persistence is the key to anything in life, and each time I fail, I somehow motivate myself by different means after I am done feeling dejected. This time too, I need to do the same. I need to be persistent. With persistence, no matter what my goals are, I shall increase my chances of achieving them in life…

A Free Day in a Photographer’s Life!

Well, today is Monday, and this week’s video is a short 3-minute walk-through of a free day in my life! There are days when I’m over-loaded with work (photo-shoots, client meetings, running errands, etc.) and then there are days like this. Please do “Subscribe” to my channel on ‪#‎YouTube‬ for weekly updates!

#LifeofAPhotographer – a short insight (vlog) into my professional life…

 

#LifeofAPhotographer – As a part of this week’s video, I wanted to share a little glimpse of my life as a working full-time photographer. It is the general perception of public at large that all a photographer does is “click a button” apart from travelling to exotic locations, staying in 5-star properties, and just generally having fun. Well, ofcourse that is ALSO a part & parcel of such an amazing “job”, if I will. But, as you’d probably watch in this video, it is much more than just that. It is about travelling during odd hours, sleeping late nights (or in my case not sleeping at all!) and rushing back to the home-city for another shoot and client meet.

Do “Subscribe” to my YouTube channel for weekly updates, if you like the video or like what you see in my channel. 🙂

Kolkata – the City of Joy

Kolkata is a city which brings varied emotions out of you, and as a photographer, it was an honor to walk through the amazing streets of the beautiful city and capture a few frames which I’d, perhaps, remember till the next time I go visit that wonderful city yet again! Here are a few photographs straight from the City of Joy…

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Kolkata - the City of Joy

Kolkata – the City of Joy

Kolkata - the City of Joy

Kolkata – the City of Joy

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The Night Speaks to Me

As I was driving back home a while back, I could not control myself; this feeling of utter sadness hit me hard, I have no idea how or from where but I could feel a certain heaviness inside that beating heart of mine, so much so that I had to stop by the road-side just to let those emotions flow through me, eventually making my eyes moist. I stood there on the road-side, late night, all alone for a good 20 minutes before I could gather the courage to move again. It was suffocating, it felt as if it was hard to even breathe. I am sure you know that feeling. I got out of the car at the middle of nowhere and just stood there, almost feeling nothing, just looking at the road signs and the signals blinking afar. It was like I had gone completely numb.

I love her and think about her each and every moment but especially tonight as I sit on the chair right now staring at the blank wall. I cannot stop thinking of her, no matter how hard I try to concentrate on other things. There she is, constantly on my mind, no matter what I do. It feels like my soul is burning and I’m screaming from the pain but no one can hear me. Everyone is just walking past me without realizing what I feel inside me, that I feel like I might die tonight. I look with pleading eyes all around; can’t someone stop this unimaginable pain?!

The world seems so distant today, and seems it is unaware that I’m missing the heart from my chest. That it feels like a chunk was violently ripped out and the hole is still new and the wound still fresh with blood oozing out of it. I try and pretend that my world is not shattered, because somehow I think this sort of thinking might help, but I have truly realized one fact, that everyday is a trial. Everyday I have to remind myself to keep breathing. Everyday I need to make a conscious effort to be alive. Each night I have to remind myself to fall asleep, and even then, it has almost been a couple of months that I sleep for not more than 2 hours each night, or shall I say each morning as I can only fall asleep post sunrise. What do I do all night long? I turn sides, I wake up, start working on the laptop. I try going back to sleep again and the same vicious cycle continues till I look up the wall clock to realize it is already 5:30 in the morning. Yes, that is how my nights have been since the past 2 months now, almost. I do not remember the last time I’ve had a proper “goodnight’s sleep” so to speak.

But, I don’t know what has hit me tonight. I feel like I can write the saddest lines, because it just makes me sad to think that I do not have her aroubd. To feel that I might not be loved, I might not ever have the previlege of her love; perhaps never.  I can hear this night, this silence speaking to me tonight and to hear the night whispering into your ears can be such an immense pain, something which these words cannot describe.

I just want this pain to end forever, as I feel tonight these might very well be the last lines I dedicate to her. And I want these emotions to touch her soul, like dew touches the green pasture…

My Love For You

You know, it is almost like you have been elusive to me in so many ways but at the same time, I also feel as if life sometimes may have fooled me, yet I know you are out there. In some form.  I mean, I am not able to describe it correctly but somehow I search for your face around in the faces that I see or for that matter I almost could hear your voice uttering those cute notings. Till this day, I thought all this could only happen in movies or maybe in dreams but I’ve been proven wrong and comprehensively so. You are literally everywhere…

Why haven’t I been able to say all that I want, show you all that I am, and give you all I have? I’ve been a big failure when it comes to personal relationships. I do not know why is God making me wait or what sort of a test is he seeking from me, I would never know , because this is a factor beyond my control.

So, wherever you might be in life,  know that I love you and you will be the one that lurked passionately in my dreams each night. Night after night. Know that I am always longing for you and your presence. Know that you will always be everything to me. Even though I might not mean anything to you but you must know, I love you. I always will.

I’ve tried to describe your beauty, your smile, your kind heart in words and I’ve found out that my words only begin to scratch the surface of what I feel for you. You are too amazing, too much of a wonder for any mere language to describe.

If I could be frank, I really want to express my feelings for you but I cannot. How could I, when those feelings take my breath away? How can I measure my love for you when that love compares to nothing else, and when that love exceeds all categories and all expectations. No words can express the reality of how I feel for you. Nothing can express my love for you because you are indescribable, and my love for you is something which can NEVER be measured.

You know, simply looking into your gorgeous eyes feels like I’m in a whirlwind of intense emotions. Just one brief smile from you feels like radiance and, shall I say, absolute joy. My heart just beats like it knows no bounds. From simple things, like when I see you “Like” my posts on social networking websites to stuff you utter everyday just brings joy to my heart. You’ve no idea how big a part you are, of my life.

I’ve always been a passionate and inherently positive person but until the day I actually met you, I had never before felt so much energy & to a certain extent, hope. I want you to know, I shall forever be grateful to God for making me meet you. It is such a pleasure to just know you.

You might not even know this but you have given me a heart full of love and days full of positivity and I will give myself to you always. Anytime. All the time.

For, I LOVE YOU…

Passion Won’t Make You Successful in Photography

If you’re relying only on being passionate for being successful in photography, then, I’m sorry to break that bubble but passion alone won’t keep you in business. It is the harsh truth, but there you have it.

I understand the fact that this will perhaps come as a big surprise to some because we are conditioned to hear the word ‘passion’ everywhere. It is highly spoken of at speeches and on television shows and what not, basically it is everywhere. It promptly shows up at the beginning when an idea is generally discussed; it is extremely exciting and very shiny as all new things are but passion is the first one to get out of the door and run away when it comes to tough times.

Yes, we need passion for it makes you feel alive, brimming with some sort of purpose in life. We love passion and more than that, we really do need it. You would agree that just hearing the word makes you feel happy & motivated.

But, like I’ve said a while back, it’s a very strange thing. It is extremely powerful to start with but at the first sight of problems, it is the first one to vanish. Essentially, that sparkle that I talked about in the beginning, that wears off pretty quickly. It just wants to show up, makes you really happy and then go away.

Passion is a temporary thing but that is perfectly fine, as that is how it is really supposed to be. It is more or a precursor to something better that’s to come. If I can put it bluntly, passion is the seed from which something known as “dedication” grows. And trust me when I say, dedication, that is the real deal.

Dedication makes you continue trudging on when times are hard. Or stay up late till night when your body is breaking down and crying for sleep. Dedication is exactly what pushes you towards making yourself a better photographer, a better business-person and perhaps a better person, overall.

So, to all my photographer friends, there’s just one thing I’d say – Embrace passion with both hands but please don’t expect it to stay forever. For, you must always remember, “Passion is what makes you pick up the camera, but dedication is what keeps it in your hands.”

Why Am I Unhappy?

Why do you think it‰’s like that? It‰’s because the majority of people on this planet don‰’t understand the psychology behind happiness. People believe that happiness is acquired from gaining things and that happiness is directly correlated with what they do in their lives. They feel that happiness is just like the other cause and effects in this world, and that a certain thing that they acquire or gain will in effect bring them happiness. They are so wrong. Happiness is something which is not quantifiable. You can be the richest person on earth or the poorest yet your levels of happiness could be the same. The reason why? Happiness is a mentality it isn‰’t something which can be bought or purchased, it‰’s something which must be learnt and cultured; it‰’s all in your head.

This takes us to the question of the article: You are not happy in your life, only because you choose to be unhappy. It isn‰’t because of your failures or because of your losses, you are unhappy because of your perspective. You are unhappy because you are looking at life with the wrong lens. You must grasp the concept that happiness is a mentality and that only you have control over whether you are happy or not. So what now? Well it‰’s time to bring a revolution in your life. You must prioritize and put happiness at the top of your list. You must realize that knowingly or unknowingly the thing that drives everybody in life is the pursuit for true happiness. This is now your moment to take control of your life. Change your perception and look at life with a big perspective. Realize what makes you happy and pursue it.

Understand the phycology of happiness, understand your psychology and before you know it you will be happy again.

Connaught on an Monsoon Evening

It is not often that it rains so much in Delhi, the capital of this beautiful country, India.

But this year’s monsoon thus far has been a majestic one with non-stop rains for the past 48 hours almost and boy, I’m not complaining. I’ve been feeling happy, and content within and trust me when I say, the weather has got a huge role to play. You see, most people love sunshine, summers, etc. Not that I loathe them myself but there is something really magical, something majestic about the monsoons which just takes my breath away in an instant.

And then there is photography. I love how the rains provide us with some amazing chance to photograph everything around us. You don’t need a hefty DSLR to always get the shot. A mere cell-phone these days is capable of creating some amazing pictures.

I hope this spell continues for a few more days, for India is predominantly a country where summer rules the roost, so to speak. So, monsoons, you’re more than welcome to stay as long as you like, love. 🙂

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Connaught Place on an monsoon evening- by Bobby Roy

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New Delhi monsoon - by Bobby Roy

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Hauz Khas on an monsoon evening - by Bobby Roy

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Droplets - by Bobby Roy

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Monsoon reflections - by Bobby Roy

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