Tag Archives: love

Life & its Existence

 

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Life is hard. It includes physical pain, mental pain, hatred, anxiety, disappointment. Life’s problems are so significant that we all try to just avoid them. But just these words cannot convey the pure depth & intensity of what I want to say.

Of course the above does not describe all of human life. There is love, friendship, honor, knowledge, play, beauty, pleasure, creative work, and a thousand other things that make life, at least sometimes, worthwhile, and at other times pure bliss.
We seek health and vitality, friends and mates, pleasure and happiness. Our desires appear unlimited. And presuming that we fulfill these desires, we still face philosophical concerns: What is real? What can we know? What should we do? What can we hope for? And, most importantly, what is the meaning of life in a world that contains so much suffering? This is the central philosophical question of human life. Fortune may shine upon us but we ultimately suffer and perish, raising the question of the point of it all. If all our hopes, plans, longings, and love ultimately vanish, then what does it all mean? And this question penetrates to the core of the human existence…

 

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India Gate at first light

Unlike many, I am a morning person. I never had any problems getting up in the morning just so I could catch the first light of the day, for light like that and pictures like this one you see below can only be created during the ‘Golden Hours’.

India Gate at dawn

 

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24 hours in Kolkata…

Kolkata is an amazing city. It is a city filled with a rich culture, and such rich history that it is almost impossible to experience the city in its entirety in just 24 odd hours.

Well, I was in Kolkata recently for a photo-assignment, and took some time out to film this. I hope you all enjoy looking at this 2-minute tribute to this ‘City of Joy’.

 

The Night Speaks to Me

As I was driving back home a while back, I could not control myself; this feeling of utter sadness hit me hard, I have no idea how or from where but I could feel a certain heaviness inside that beating heart of mine, so much so that I had to stop by the road-side just to let those emotions flow through me, eventually making my eyes moist. I stood there on the road-side, late night, all alone for a good 20 minutes before I could gather the courage to move again. It was suffocating, it felt as if it was hard to even breathe. I am sure you know that feeling. I got out of the car at the middle of nowhere and just stood there, almost feeling nothing, just looking at the road signs and the signals blinking afar. It was like I had gone completely numb.

I love her and think about her each and every moment but especially tonight as I sit on the chair right now staring at the blank wall. I cannot stop thinking of her, no matter how hard I try to concentrate on other things. There she is, constantly on my mind, no matter what I do. It feels like my soul is burning and I’m screaming from the pain but no one can hear me. Everyone is just walking past me without realizing what I feel inside me, that I feel like I might die tonight. I look with pleading eyes all around; can’t someone stop this unimaginable pain?!

The world seems so distant today, and seems it is unaware that I’m missing the heart from my chest. That it feels like a chunk was violently ripped out and the hole is still new and the wound still fresh with blood oozing out of it. I try and pretend that my world is not shattered, because somehow I think this sort of thinking might help, but I have truly realized one fact, that everyday is a trial. Everyday I have to remind myself to keep breathing. Everyday I need to make a conscious effort to be alive. Each night I have to remind myself to fall asleep, and even then, it has almost been a couple of months that I sleep for not more than 2 hours each night, or shall I say each morning as I can only fall asleep post sunrise. What do I do all night long? I turn sides, I wake up, start working on the laptop. I try going back to sleep again and the same vicious cycle continues till I look up the wall clock to realize it is already 5:30 in the morning. Yes, that is how my nights have been since the past 2 months now, almost. I do not remember the last time I’ve had a proper “goodnight’s sleep” so to speak.

But, I don’t know what has hit me tonight. I feel like I can write the saddest lines, because it just makes me sad to think that I do not have her aroubd. To feel that I might not be loved, I might not ever have the previlege of her love; perhaps never.  I can hear this night, this silence speaking to me tonight and to hear the night whispering into your ears can be such an immense pain, something which these words cannot describe.

I just want this pain to end forever, as I feel tonight these might very well be the last lines I dedicate to her. And I want these emotions to touch her soul, like dew touches the green pasture…

My Love For You

You know, it is almost like you have been elusive to me in so many ways but at the same time, I also feel as if life sometimes may have fooled me, yet I know you are out there. In some form.  I mean, I am not able to describe it correctly but somehow I search for your face around in the faces that I see or for that matter I almost could hear your voice uttering those cute notings. Till this day, I thought all this could only happen in movies or maybe in dreams but I’ve been proven wrong and comprehensively so. You are literally everywhere…

Why haven’t I been able to say all that I want, show you all that I am, and give you all I have? I’ve been a big failure when it comes to personal relationships. I do not know why is God making me wait or what sort of a test is he seeking from me, I would never know , because this is a factor beyond my control.

So, wherever you might be in life,  know that I love you and you will be the one that lurked passionately in my dreams each night. Night after night. Know that I am always longing for you and your presence. Know that you will always be everything to me. Even though I might not mean anything to you but you must know, I love you. I always will.

I’ve tried to describe your beauty, your smile, your kind heart in words and I’ve found out that my words only begin to scratch the surface of what I feel for you. You are too amazing, too much of a wonder for any mere language to describe.

If I could be frank, I really want to express my feelings for you but I cannot. How could I, when those feelings take my breath away? How can I measure my love for you when that love compares to nothing else, and when that love exceeds all categories and all expectations. No words can express the reality of how I feel for you. Nothing can express my love for you because you are indescribable, and my love for you is something which can NEVER be measured.

You know, simply looking into your gorgeous eyes feels like I’m in a whirlwind of intense emotions. Just one brief smile from you feels like radiance and, shall I say, absolute joy. My heart just beats like it knows no bounds. From simple things, like when I see you “Like” my posts on social networking websites to stuff you utter everyday just brings joy to my heart. You’ve no idea how big a part you are, of my life.

I’ve always been a passionate and inherently positive person but until the day I actually met you, I had never before felt so much energy & to a certain extent, hope. I want you to know, I shall forever be grateful to God for making me meet you. It is such a pleasure to just know you.

You might not even know this but you have given me a heart full of love and days full of positivity and I will give myself to you always. Anytime. All the time.

For, I LOVE YOU…

I Love You And I Mean It…

“I Love You…”

When I say, “I love you”, it is like that silent poetry which throbs inside my heart and this feeling just cannot be uttered in 3 short words or 30,000 for that matter. Whenever I try to describe the way I feel for you, every word just seems trite and hollow. As a matter of fact, there have been times when I’ve felt the whole English language is just plain insufficient to describe this feeling inside of me.

Tonight, this thought crossed my mind; a thought of writing it all in an uncut version of sorts, maybe this way when I pour my heart out, you’d really understand the amount of love I have in me, for you. Maybe when you’ll ultimately read these lines, then you’ll understand where I am coming from. I am coming from a place where pain and happiness run together, where lovers die in each other’s arms and are then born again…to be with each other. I just want you to actually feel all of this, and more.

I love you. And although on the face of it, these words seem like something that every lover has told to their loved ones but what it really means is I want you. From the very first day I saw you, to this day, I have always wanted you like I’ve never wanted anyone, ever. When I say, “I love you”, I mean you’re really beautiful. You’re terrific, gorgeous in your heels and in all your glittering finery and even more so, in whatever way I see you. You’re beautiful even when you’re not trying at all, and you’re oh so attractive when you just let it all go and just be carelessly, naturally you. Looking at you each time just makes me go absolutely speechless. It is like a sunset reflected in still water, or a starry night up there in the Himalayas, so clear that you can actually see the Milky way spread across the night-sky.

I literally love everything about you – the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you are, your body, your style, that elegance. I absolutely love each and every little detail about you. Even when you’re not saying anything, just the company is what speaks. And it feels so peaceful, so worth it. When you walk, I feel like there is a particular rhythm to it, and an elegance. It is like you embody the very definition of “pure woman”, right from the beautiful curls of your hair to your ankles and toes.

And then, when I say, “I love you”, I mean, all of you, just the very way you are. I love your silliness or your playfulness, how easily you can laugh and how comfortable I feel around you. I love your honesty, I love how you really talk. Your fears. Your words. Your voice. Your smile. Your eyes & those beautiful lips. By “I love you”, what I really mean is that I trust you. And I respect you. I admire you. And I absolutely adore you.

I’ve been hurt enough in my life, and you are not inexperienced yourself when it comes to heartbreaks. So, when I say, “I love you”, I mean I want to be the one you turn to when you’re hurting. I want to be the one who listens, because, I absolutely love listening to you. Just looking at you speak can make my day so worth it. I want to hold you in my arms and take care of you. I want you to know that in this constantly changing world, there is someone whom you can really believe in, someone who will be your pillar of trust.

I can go on writing so much more, but all I want you to know is that I have a place here inside my heart for you. Yes, I LOVE YOU…

Passion Won’t Make You Successful in Photography

If you’re relying only on being passionate for being successful in photography, then, I’m sorry to break that bubble but passion alone won’t keep you in business. It is the harsh truth, but there you have it.

I understand the fact that this will perhaps come as a big surprise to some because we are conditioned to hear the word ‘passion’ everywhere. It is highly spoken of at speeches and on television shows and what not, basically it is everywhere. It promptly shows up at the beginning when an idea is generally discussed; it is extremely exciting and very shiny as all new things are but passion is the first one to get out of the door and run away when it comes to tough times.

Yes, we need passion for it makes you feel alive, brimming with some sort of purpose in life. We love passion and more than that, we really do need it. You would agree that just hearing the word makes you feel happy & motivated.

But, like I’ve said a while back, it’s a very strange thing. It is extremely powerful to start with but at the first sight of problems, it is the first one to vanish. Essentially, that sparkle that I talked about in the beginning, that wears off pretty quickly. It just wants to show up, makes you really happy and then go away.

Passion is a temporary thing but that is perfectly fine, as that is how it is really supposed to be. It is more or a precursor to something better that’s to come. If I can put it bluntly, passion is the seed from which something known as “dedication” grows. And trust me when I say, dedication, that is the real deal.

Dedication makes you continue trudging on when times are hard. Or stay up late till night when your body is breaking down and crying for sleep. Dedication is exactly what pushes you towards making yourself a better photographer, a better business-person and perhaps a better person, overall.

So, to all my photographer friends, there’s just one thing I’d say – Embrace passion with both hands but please don’t expect it to stay forever. For, you must always remember, “Passion is what makes you pick up the camera, but dedication is what keeps it in your hands.”

Why Am I Unhappy?

Why do you think it‰’s like that? It‰’s because the majority of people on this planet don‰’t understand the psychology behind happiness. People believe that happiness is acquired from gaining things and that happiness is directly correlated with what they do in their lives. They feel that happiness is just like the other cause and effects in this world, and that a certain thing that they acquire or gain will in effect bring them happiness. They are so wrong. Happiness is something which is not quantifiable. You can be the richest person on earth or the poorest yet your levels of happiness could be the same. The reason why? Happiness is a mentality it isn‰’t something which can be bought or purchased, it‰’s something which must be learnt and cultured; it‰’s all in your head.

This takes us to the question of the article: You are not happy in your life, only because you choose to be unhappy. It isn‰’t because of your failures or because of your losses, you are unhappy because of your perspective. You are unhappy because you are looking at life with the wrong lens. You must grasp the concept that happiness is a mentality and that only you have control over whether you are happy or not. So what now? Well it‰’s time to bring a revolution in your life. You must prioritize and put happiness at the top of your list. You must realize that knowingly or unknowingly the thing that drives everybody in life is the pursuit for true happiness. This is now your moment to take control of your life. Change your perception and look at life with a big perspective. Realize what makes you happy and pursue it.

Understand the phycology of happiness, understand your psychology and before you know it you will be happy again.

Connaught on an Monsoon Evening

It is not often that it rains so much in Delhi, the capital of this beautiful country, India.

But this year’s monsoon thus far has been a majestic one with non-stop rains for the past 48 hours almost and boy, I’m not complaining. I’ve been feeling happy, and content within and trust me when I say, the weather has got a huge role to play. You see, most people love sunshine, summers, etc. Not that I loathe them myself but there is something really magical, something majestic about the monsoons which just takes my breath away in an instant.

And then there is photography. I love how the rains provide us with some amazing chance to photograph everything around us. You don’t need a hefty DSLR to always get the shot. A mere cell-phone these days is capable of creating some amazing pictures.

I hope this spell continues for a few more days, for India is predominantly a country where summer rules the roost, so to speak. So, monsoons, you’re more than welcome to stay as long as you like, love. 🙂

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Connaught Place on an monsoon evening- by Bobby Roy

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New Delhi monsoon - by Bobby Roy

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Hauz Khas on an monsoon evening - by Bobby Roy

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Droplets - by Bobby Roy

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Monsoon reflections - by Bobby Roy

Calling It Quits – Emotional Hurt

Why do you think, we don’t quite like most people. I think most of us don’t really value or like most people and that in itself is pretty amazing if you come to seriously think about it.

All this like and dislike is something which I do not quite understand clearly, if you ask me. You see, when we talk about liking or disliking someone, we do not really say that the particular person is likeable or not. Rather, we say, “I like that person”, or “I dislike that person.” So, essentially, it reflects more about us rather than the person we are talking about, I feel. Ofcourse, there might be reasons we have for liking or disliking someone or anything for that matter, but the fact remains that it tells more about us than them.

Most of the times, I have seen people confusing good-bad with likeable-not likeable when in reality, these are two different concepts. Yes, there are people in this world who like bad, maybe because bad or simply being bad gives them some sort of sadistic pleasure.

I am talking about all this tonight because I feel extremely emotional tonight and I am just trying to make some sense out of all that I feel within me. It is absolutely incredible that even the smallest of things can make us feel something so deep, emotionally. What is more incredible is the depth of emotions and how only other humans seem to be reciprocative of those emotions.

So, if some-day, your lover says something which hurts you or makes you feel bad or insulted, stop and think for a moment rather than reacting in the spur of the moment. Instead of simply hating your lover or partnee for showing your flaws or saying something that he/ she shouldn’t have, talk to him and ask him what the inert issue is. Look at it this way; a relatiomship is a partnership & partnership is only worth it when both the parties involved are working towards improvement and eventually further successes instead of name calling, cursing or abusing each other.

Lastly, I cannot say it enough; before you call it quits simply because you feel hurt or insulted,  think strongly about the person whom you’re throwing out or walking out on. Isn’t he/ she the best thing that could ever happen to you? Perhaps, yes and that is why you fell in love in the first place.

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