Tag Archives: lovers

Sad…Hopeless…Worthless…

It feels like I am drowning, except everyone around me is breathing. The pain comes in waves & keeps piercing my mind and dragging me down to the depths, almost choking me.

I don’t know or understand if this is how sadness or depression feels like, but this is exactly how I feel. I’m lucky that I have that ability to pen down how I feel, in words. But, this deep sadness, this deep sense of loss has hit me hard. If you meet me, I might not even come out as a person who can be or who is, infact, terribly sad and broken from within. On the contrary, you might feel, I am one of the most happiest persons you’ve ever met!

From what I know, depression isn’t something tangible. You see, when you’re physically hurt, you can see the injury, treat it and hopefully be done with it. But, it isn’t the case with mental hurt. It stays and buries deep down into your psyche, and then slowly hits you, takes you into its stride, grabs you and just doesn’t let you go.

I don’t understand it, nor do I wish to fight it anymore. I’m tired. All I seeked was companionship, love and a little bit of affection. But that shall never be the case with my life, with me. Never. I know now, for sure. I’m absolutely sure…

My fate, whatever be it, I am accepting it for this is how life is perhaps deciding to treat me…

Until we meet again…

In the Jungle amidst Nature

I have been pondering about this for quite a while now, and perhaps I’ll take a step towards the positive direction.

Recently, on one of my travels to a distant and off beat place in the Himalayas, I discovered a beautiful cottage by the road-side which was abandoned, and nobody seemed to be around. The village itself is a very small one, with a population count on two digits. And then it stuck me; I have been wanting to go to the Himalayas and just stay there for an indefinite period of time and just…be there.

You know what I mean? Just do the stuff that I always have wanted to do. Be in the middle of nature, photograph, write, and just do nothing. I need to experience such “nothingness” for in this urban jungle, I have completely lost the sense of being alone. O lonely, I sure am, but being alone and all by yourself is an entirely different feeling altogether.

Below, I am sharing a few pictures from my recent travel, and just look at the kind of solitude that places like this provide. Rest assured, very soon, I shall be off to such a place up in the hills. Where, I don’t know, for I haven’t decided yet. I shall ofcourse let everyone know about my whereabouts through Facebook, Instagram & ofcourse this blog of mine. 🙂

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Nainital Uttarakhand

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Sigri Uttarakhand

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Sigri Jungle Trails

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Pangot Nainital


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